i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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