I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
