at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
