Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
