1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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