OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
