Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
