Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
