Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
