This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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