There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
