Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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