someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
