What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize