Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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