Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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