So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
