There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
