my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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