you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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