I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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