I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
