Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
