he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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