I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize