It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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