Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
