Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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