If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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