Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
