I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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