haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
