i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
