oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She bit a glass in half.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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