Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
