He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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