He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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