giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
