my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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