I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
