My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i think i have herpe
just one?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
