the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
