so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
