so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I look better un-naked...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
