carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Randomize
