you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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