So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
