I wannas sexs uuuuu
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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