FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
