ugly people sure do ruin things
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
