I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize