Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
