ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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