Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
