they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
