I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
