Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
