whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
