Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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