i just google imaged poop.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
