I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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