Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize