Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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