Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
