hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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