i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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