Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
