been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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