I'm gonna have a badass scar
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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