I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
