so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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