Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
