i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
