Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
