I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
