Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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