His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
vagina is talking i cant
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
