You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
