How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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