And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
