First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize