She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
porn star boner night. come get it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
